DAILY NEW REALITY

"I was recently talking with a client who I have been working with for over a year. She was very frustrated with herself for "knowing" all of this spiritual stuff but still succumbing to her painful patterns from time to time. This reminded me so much of myself only a few years ago. I had read every spiritual book on the planet, listened to many guru's preach and found myself within the same unwanted patterns time and time again."

You probably know what I am talking about if you struggle with certain reoccurring themes in your life. When you know better but aren't doing better. You unconsciously think that all of this divine wisdom is seeping into your pours and that life will be better because you have read some words of wisdom. I can remember sharing all of this wonderful inspirational stuff on social media but then looking at the imperfect life I was living. This is an unfortunate but true reality until we wake up to the fact that our minds are not in control of the universe. Thats right, your mind does not have all the answers, but your heart does.

."Do you ever wonder how much time you spend being in the moment? By this, I mean fully engaged in the very thing you are doing, without your mind wandering in the past or future. I first started thinking about mindfulness when I realized that I was hardly ever in the present moment. Whether I was ruminating about an event in the past, going over my to-do list, or projecting into the future, I left no time to be fully aware of the now. 

Unfortunately, once I started talking to friends, family and my patients about being present, I realized that most of us spend most of the time outside "the moment". Our minds seem to spontaneously rush through time. That is, unless we are fully occupied in a crisis situation

Whatever your resolution for the year might be, taking time for meditation is sure to help you maintain discipline, compassion, and focus on your journey.

It’s that time of year again, where we contemplate major changes in our life. As the calendar refreshes to a new year, we too yearn to hit refresh on ourselves, setting resolutions that we will finally (finally!) implement from now on. It might be physical (such as exercising more or losing weight), emotional (such as being kinder to certain people or volunteering more), or mental (such as getting more organized or focused at work). No matter what your resolution may be, I have a sinking suspicion that meditation will support it.

"Milestones are markers that you’re evolving – they do not create emotional fulfillment in the way we think they will. This confusion is why with the dawn of each new year, our resolutions are to change our lives, rather than to change ourselves. But what if we made goals that were more about loving what we have rather than chasing what we don’t? What if we realized that it’s what we were seeking in the first place? It’s something to consider – if not even try just a little. Here, a few ideas to get you started:"

1. Pick up where you left off. Finish the half-read books on your shelf. Eat what’s in the cupboard. Wear what you own in ways you never thought of before. Apologize and mean it. Call old friends. ...

Here are some new ideas to mark the beginning of 2016.

For thousands of years, humans have marked the beginning of a new year with sacred festivals. January is named after the Roman god Janus, whose two faces looked to both the past and the future.

As you consider the many days ahead in 2016, take some time to reflect on the past as well.

Try these tips if you're searching for ways to make this year's New Year's celebration more meaningful.

"When you want to be productive but you don't know what to do, or you want to be effective but you keep getting distracted, you end up wasting a lot of time."

To those who soak up the world’s energy like a sponge…

You play a critical role here.

You may not feel it sometimes. Sometimes it feels like you’re drowning in a sea of other people’s feelings, uncertain which waves have poured over from foreign waters and which come from your own deep center, far too immersed to reach, at least in this lifetime.

The part you play in this drama of human life is absolutely essential.

You are one of the truth-tellers.

You are one of the strong ones.

You are one of the believers in magic. You dance in the shadows to bring life to the light trickling in from cracks in the board that others fail to see.

Without you, chaos continues to ensue.

"Think Newton’s Laws of Gravity, the Laws of Motion, or the Relativity Principle. These Laws of Physics allow us to understand, define and predict the complicated world we live in. They’re all based on formulas, and can be proven by mathematics. They make sense. They’re logical.

As complex as those principles may be to thoroughly understand, basic knowledge of them at least provides us with guidelines. We know what to expect when we drop an apple, or push a chair, and generally why it happens."

But there is one powerful area of life which does not conform to the laws of nature. A part of our physiology that defines our humanness, and yet makes each human unique from every other. 

Emotions.

When you sleep, where does your consciousness go?

A friend who is suddenly sick asks that I drive him home on his motorcycle. I've never driven a motorcycle, the trip will take an hour on the highway, I have no helmet, and there's a second passenger. I ask if we could use surface streets; he says no. I ask what's the slowest speed we can go; he says 50 mph. I say I won't do it. Others crowd around, pressuring me to drive that bike. I say I'll order Uber and pay for everyone. I am smart enough to know that I should not drive that bike, but not smart enough to know that I am dreaming.

As I awake, I marvel. On the one hand, I was reasoning well, dealing rationally with complex ideas; on the other hand, I had no sense of basic reality. Both from the same brain at the same time. There is meaning here: what we assume to be a unified self is multiple mental faculties, each related to different brain areas or systems.

Here are the ways we silently—and secretly—discourage ourselves from doing the things that would make us the happiest.

This happens when we spend a lot of time thinking things like, "Our rent is half the market value for this neighborhood! We have free cable! We live in this supercool neighborhood with two parks!" In other words, you, and me, we convince ourselves how happy we are in our current situation (because we are grateful and we do want to be happy), so much so that we don't realize we could be even happier someplace else. Like someplace in a different supercool neighborhood but with equally inexpensive rent...and one more bedroom. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-We-Limit-Ourselves#ixzz41aXHeqwS

"15 years ago when I realized that I didn't love myself, I was shocked. If you had asked me if I loved me, I would have said, "Yes, I think so." I had a good job, self confidence, and lots of friends. But I also had an unhappy and toxic romantic relationship, I was headed for a career that wasn't the one I really desired, I lived in a big house in a city I didn't like, and I worked, a lot, often to the point of exhaustion, overwhelm and stress. 

I had no idea at the time that all of these outward ways in which I was settling and trying hard to "make it work" -- in relationship, career, and my emotional and physical health -- were connected to a lack of self-love. Since that time I have dedicated a big part of my life to understanding self love, defining it, figuring out how to "do" it, not in theory but in real practical ways that give us the power to make changes on the outside that lead to more lasting changes on the outside

The benefits of taking time out of the day to focus on well-being and lowering stress levels.

In a past article, journalist Andrea Chalupa suggested everyone make a plan to take out 24 hours in solitude. She quotes her father, Dr. Leo Chalupa, saying that “A national day of absolute solitude would do more to improve the brains of all Americans than any other one-day program.”

This might sound scary to some and intriguing to others, but have no fear, this is not going to happen. But what can happen?

Thomas Merton said, “Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it.”

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello, you who make the morning and spread it over the fields." -- Mary Oliver

Instead of waking up to stress and rushing, consider how the rest of your day could go if you started it by doing something just for yourself. A spiritually refreshing morning ritual can help set you up for a day full of positivity.

Here are a few simple tips on how to create a morning routine that will nourish your soul.

Want to find contentment in the New Year? Look for ways to acknowledge what's already working and pair it with intentions for the year ahead.

The concept of a new year can bring promise and sometimes a sense of not being content with what we have. Our mind is naturally inclined toward the negative and as a result we may focus on what needs to be fixed or what isn’t going well in our lives. We can bring an energy of discontentment into the New Year and with it a feeling of pressure. Have you ever heard yourself think, “This is the year that I have to…exercise more, meet the man/woman of my dreams, land that dream job, etc.”

The New Year is an opportunity to grow and develop new qualities that will more closely align with the kind of person we want to be and the life we want to be living. But first, it’s important to acknowledge everything that we already have and bring into the New Year with us. If we forget this important step, we are setting too lofty of expectations for our year because we are coming from a sense of lack vs. a feeling of “I have enough.”

Forget the excuses for bad habits! Building good money habits lies in following a system consistently, day in and day out.

All of us like to mythologize successful athletes and entrepreneurs for their achievements. How do they do it? What’s their special sauce? What magic superpower does this one or that one have?

The answer, my friend, lies in the paradox of boring details. Whether it’s eating less or exercising more, taking walks or saving away money for retirement, good habits are not genetic and don’t attach themselves magically to successful people.

."When we only treat symptoms, whether behavioral, emotional or mental, symptoms recur. Symptoms are present to alert us to examine ourselves in order to determine what is not working effectively. Chronic lack of joy, humor and serenity, or excessive anger, anxiety and fear create emotional illness. Persistent blaming, catastrophizing, deceiving, judging and worrying causes mental disorders. Habitual behaviors of abuse, aggression, over-controlling and manipulation lead to conduct disorders. Abstaining from specific actions and from expressing certain feelings or thoughts helps us immensely in early recovery."

Remember: You have what it takes, are worthy, and don't need to know everything or do everything perfectly. You've got this.

I still remember the day I realized that my life needed to change, vividly.

My mind had already been made up about how I was going to look and feel for the rest of my life: Deeply uncomfortable in my own skin, struggling to manage a dysfunctional relationship with food, and always hating how I looked.

But the thought of fighting to change all that seemed like such an impossible, uphill battle... so I chose not to do anything about it. I resigned myself to settling into my new 'normal': Overweight, insecure and unhappy.

When you begin thinking about this upcoming year, ask yourself, "What can I do to make 2016 the happiest year of my life?" Maybe it's scheduling more time for exercise, learning to prepare healthier meals, getting to bed earlier, or making more time to spend with friends and family.

 Historically many life-change gurus have promoted the notion that new habits can be formed in 21 days. So, establishing a habit of going to bed earlier would simply take three weeks of practicing this behavior. 

You could do that, right?

Recent research however, has found that real change takes at least 66 days of consistent practice! Going to bed earlier for more than 66 days is a much more ambitious goal than doing it for just three weeks. No wonder we struggle to implement change even when we know what it is we need to do.

“Life is not meant to be a struggle.” I had heard these words so many times, but the true magnificence of this statement wasn't fully clear until I welcomed its insight into my life -- and began to experience a significant positive shift in my overall health as a result.

For years, my body had been trying to tell me that something was off. Unbeknownst to me, chronic fatigue, persistent anxiety and intestinal pain were all physical manifestations of the absence of contentment and ease in my mind. What I needed was to empower my mind so that I could deeply heal my body.

You’ve been trained to make “yes” your default — but you can change that without drowning in guilt.

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